This page is for you if you want to listen to rambles about my journey, experiences I've had with regards to running a photography and content business, and general thoughts and feelings! It's not for you if you don't like swear words or don't enjoy reading through other peoples inner head chatter.
I was sat one day with my friend, moaning about the job I was working in. I'd only been in it a few months, and what felt like an amazing opportunity at the time, was very quickly unfolding into something that I didn't expect it to be. What was supposed to be a 37.5 hour job, was turning into a 45 hr a week job; at home with my laptop out on the sofa, writing referrals and discharge letters, booking appointments and organising my calendar so it made some kind of sense. My whole work life felt like chaos, and home life wasn't any less chaotic with a 6 year old and 3 year old running around under my feet. I was exhausted all the time, and often had a fast pulse or felt that I had an elephant sat on my chest (turns out that's called anxiety!). I felt guilty about not being a good enough mum, not being a good enough nurse, not enjoying the job I'd worked hard for, not making enough time for my partner, not taking the dog for long enough walks, not keeping on top of the house work.... you see where this is going right?
Anyhoo, my friend put down her cup of tea and looked at me frankly. She asked me, "why don't you just focus on your photography?". I was like excuse me, I cannot just quit my job as a nurse and become a photographer. She said "yes you can". Again, I challenged her on how this was a completely absurd suggestion. She repeated very calmly again, "yes you can."
And honestly, it was like a crazy lightbulb moment (the kind of ones you'd see in the very early episodes of Mickey Mouse) and my brain was like oh....yes you can! I didn't know exactly how, but at that moment I knew that I could. I had this fire (or lightbulb heat) inside me that just filled me with determination to drop what I was doing, drop the career I'd worked so hard in, and follow a passion instead. And my god did that feel good!
So this is my note to you - yes you can! I handed my notice in, I took out a load (yep, no one has easy cash these days) and bought an upgraded camera and lenses. I started reaching out to other professionals in the field who would allow me to soak up any knowledge they had that they would be happy sharing with me, and I jumped right in!
It definitely hasn't been easy, and I'm still finding my feet. But I do feel that when you give out to the world, you can receive back from it too in ways you perhaps don't expect (or notice straight away). I've met some absolutely wonderful friends and colleagues along the way who so far have been so inspiring, and just the breath of fresh I needed to escape the system.
I am absolutely in love with taking photos. It's my happy place. And actually it's really lovely to write that out; as I'm writing this, my dad is in hospital with a very serious and unexpected turn of ill health, so whilst everything has felt a lot, it's so lush to remind myself how much I love what I get to do now. I get such a buzz from it, and I get a buzz from sharing what I've taken with my subjects. It's an incredible feeling. And I hope I get to do it for a while!